Dude, Where's My Mutants?
Seriously, where's my rocket car? My jet pack? Science fiction from the 50's and 60's had me believing we'd be in an
age of wondrous technology by now. We should be living on Martian colonies and traveling by teleportation. Our armies should
be equipped with ray guns and spaceship destroyers. None of that is even remotely true. The best we've come up with are smart
phones and flavored vodkas. Worst of all is the complete lack of mutated monsters. In this era of the atom and DNA-splicing,
we should be fighting off C.H.U.D.s and Gargantuans on a regular basis, but no dice. (read more)
One Flu Over The Cuckoo's Nest
Here we are in the midst of flu season, all trembling in fear from the coming pandemic. Each night the news dutifully
reports the widespread outbreak and delivers the grim numbers of related fatalities. You'd have to be a complete idiot to
not be terrified of this modern plague. The only thing you can do to save yourself is get a flu vaccine. But wait, the one
you got is no good because this year there's a different strain so you have to get a second shot. A couple of extra bucks
shouldn't be too much for the peace of mind and safety you receive. I call bullshit of the highest magnitude on this. There
is something a hell of a lot more sinister afoot than a "deadly" virus. (read more)
Alien Pussy Hunters
I've often been asked if I believe in extraterrestrials and my answer is always: sort of. I believe in U.F.O.s in that
I've seen things in the sky that I can't readily identify. Does that mean they are alien in origin? Maybe, but probably not.
I would like to believe that with the vastness of our universe there are other intelligent beings out there. However, just
as we don't have the ability to get to Alpha Centauri, the Alpha Centaurians probably can't get here. I don't think the government
has the ability to cover up something as huge as alien contact. The evidence I've seen and read about is explainable as either
a hoax or something wholly terrestrial. The romantic in me wants to believe, but the skeptic in me thinks it's probably a
load of donkey shit. However, every once in a while something happens that shakes my sense of disbelief. (read more)
Deadly Assault Turtles
In the wake of the Sandyhook elementary school shooting the gun grabbing mania has reached a fevered pitch. The government
is trying to convince us that we need to ban all military style weapons and high capacity magazines in order to preserve public
safety. Never mind the fact that so called "assault rifles" are used in so few crimes that it renders them statistically irrelevant.
Also please ignore the fact that most murders are committed using three rounds or less. Especially forget that the Second
Amendment of the Constitution guarantees that: the right of the people to keep and bear
arms shall not be infringed. (read more)
Head Shots: A Grey Matter Of Concern
The December 21st end of the world event is just about a week away. Where does the time go? I'm not seeing quite the
panic as there was for the Y2K thing and I'm not sure why. Isn't the destruction of our planet a little more important than
some computers crashing? Everybody was using a MIcrosoft OS back then, they should have been used to their computers not working.
Maybe it's because the so called experts can't agree on how things will end. Some say a mysterious planet called Nibiru will
collide with Earth while others feel it will just be the end of an era and the beginning of a new cycle. I think they all
agree that some kind of an apocalypse is brewing. If you're anything like me, you're hoping for a zombie apocalypse. I do
have one major concern, though. (read more)
The Exorcist Stairs
I have been a huge horror movie fan for as long as I can remember. When I was a little kid I used to spend every Saturday
with the monster matinees on TV. I loved the classic Universal horror and of course Godzilla and all of his (her?) Monster
Island cohorts. Those films were campy and cheesy fun, but not particularly scary. I had a feeling of invincibility when it
came to horror. I had seen it all and nothing could shake me. I was arrogant. All of that changed when I saw The Exorcist.
Director William Friedkin's 1973 masterpiece is widely considered the scariest movie ever made and I tend to agree with that.
That thing scared the ever-loving crap out of me and freaks me out to this day. (read more)
No one wants to believe this is it. It makes for a dreary existence to think that when we die everything that we are
is gone for good. It's downright scary to think that all of your dreams, all of your accrued knowledge, every experience,
and your personality could be deleted in a flash. Religions have cashed in on this fear with the promise of an afterlife.
It really takes the edge off of mortality. I think the same could be said for the belief in ghosts. If ghosts exist, there
is more than just this life. As grounded as I like to think I am I do believe in them. I don't generally place my faith in
a bunch of mumbo jumbo, I need concrete proof. I have had two experiences that have left me with a reasonable belief that
ghosts do exist. (read more)
An Inconvenient Gory Truth
|Eco-nut James Lee
Allegedly inspired by Ozzy Osbourne's song Suicide Solution
, John McCollum killed himself in 1985. The media
blamed Ozzy and there was outrage from religious leaders and government officials. The teenager's parents even tried unsuccessfully
to sue Ozzy. Also in 1985 James Vance and Raymond Belknap shotgunned themselves in their heads because of supposed subliminal
messages in a Judas Priest song. Again, the artist was blamed, ostracized and hauled into court. When Eric Harris and Dylan
Klebold shot up their high school in 1999, they did it to please Marilyn Manson according to the news. The media-fed blame
game saw boycotts and cancelled tour dates. With all the fervor over these incidents I'd like to know why Al Gore is getting
a free pass for his role in the Discovery Channel hostage stand-off of 2010. (read more)
Damn The Machine!
Last month I wrote an article about the things that scare me
. I should have also included my fear that eventually the machines will take over and exterminate us all. Just like the bleak
future mapped out in the Terminator films, I feel like technology will advance to the point where it no longer needs humans.
I can see the signs everywhere, but a recent errand blew the doors open for me. The other day I was in Fresh And Easy, a new
discount grocery store in my area, when I had one of those "oh shit" moments. I just went in for some corn on the cob and
beer. Little did I know this shopping experience would open my eyes to the impending downfall of man. (read more)
French Food Sucks
|French cannibal Nicolas Cocaign
I know I had promised to write an article about snuff films, and I was intent on doing that today, but I came across
a curious article that has me headed in a different direction. It would seem that an inmate in France was just convicted of
killing his cellmate and eating part of his lung. Why am I just learning of this? How could this not be a top news story?
Maybe the epic collapse of the French soccer team at the world cup gobbled (pun intended) up all the headlines, but this should
have been a bigger story. Come on, it's a French guy eating another French guy. That's news my friends. (read more)
I've been posting on this website for a couple of months now, and since I am a horror writer, I figured it was time I
actually blogged about something horror related. The subject: fear. Or more specifically, what I am afraid of. I've been asked
many times what I scares me or if I'm afraid of anything at all. Well, there are a couple of things and they're probably not
what you'd think. All of you amateur students of Freud prepare to have a field day. (read more)
Bring Out Your Dead
|Who has a boner?
Contrary to popular belief, laws do not prevent crime: they create it. Every time a law is passed it makes criminals
out of people who weren’t previously. In California, they keep enacting ever-intrusive laws concerning smoking and cell
phone use, turning law-abiding citizens into lawbreakers. Politicians love to pass legislation that makes it seems like they’re
doing their job. They go after easy targets and they make things that are already illegal slightly more illegal. None of this
shit does anything to make society safer or better, it just serves the demagogue’s bogus political agenda. With all
of the silly lawmaking going on it may come as surprise that necrophilia (sex with a dead body) isn’t a crime in many
states. Talk about a hot-button issue. (read more)
Did you hear about the Pole that drugged and raped an underage girl? No it’s not a Polish joke, it’s the
shameful legacy of film director Roman Polanski. He was convicted of this 1977 atrocity (sort of) in California but fled the
country before he was sentenced. He had been living in exile in France until recently when he was arrested in Switzerland.
He now awaits extradition with indifference to his crime and an extreme attitude. (read more)